so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize