Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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