new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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