He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
