I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Also, beer. Big fan.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i've created a new STD.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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