Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
