i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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