I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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