Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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