My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
