Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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