belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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