she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Randomize
