no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
