Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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