i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
