Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
