Sponge bath it is.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
