come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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