I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
