Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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