i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
