It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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