remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i love accidental penises.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize