just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
