He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The ass gains better be worth it
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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