well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
