Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
