Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
