Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
