Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Did I show you my penis last night?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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