Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
