glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
