and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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