i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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