He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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