YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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