you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
