He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
