i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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