I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
