i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
