i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
