You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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