you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think my moral compass just broke
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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