He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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