Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
