Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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