whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
