a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize