after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
