So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
