He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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