We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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