I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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