We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
