I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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