Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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