I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
