When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
