all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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