i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
