That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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