dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
