oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
