Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
