She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
